Parenthood Rite of Passage

Two nights ago, Bailey dropped a bombshell.

"You're mean. I want to run away from here."

This was a new one. She's shared her view of me as mean mommy before, and I always answer her the same way - she may think I'm mean, but it's my job to teach her right from wrong and I will not tolerate her bad behavior. But running away? She's just 4.....going on 24. But, still 4!!!

My initial reaction was sadness. I couldn't believe she was breaking my heart this way. But, then, something took over me and I became very calm. Here's the rest of the conversation.

Me: "So, you want to run away. Well, I guess the first thing you have to decide is where you're going to go."

Her (with an incredulous look in her eye): "I'll just go to grandmas."

Me: "Okay, that's probably a good place to go. So, how are you going to get there?"

Her: "You're going to have to take me."

Me: "Well, that's not really how it works. If you're going to run away from home, you have to do it on your own."

Her (with panic setting in): Pause....."Will you at least give me a flashlight???"

Me: "We'll figure that out in a minute. First, I guess we need to pack a bag for you."

At this point, I went into my bedroom and got my suitcase that just happened to be sitting there from my recent work trip.

Me: "Let's go to your room and pick out some clothes. I know you'll need some underwear and your toothbrush...."

While I was talking, she took exactly 2 steps toward her room, bent her head down, and started sobbing uncontrollably.

Her: "I-I-I-I-I would miss you so-o-o-o-o-o much." (Sob, sniff, sob, sniff)

Jason (who has been trying not to laugh hysterically, the exact opposite of me trying not to spill tears down my face): "Bailey.....good news. You don't have to go!!"

Visibly relieved, she began hugging me, saying, "I love you, mommy."

And thus concludes my (first) threatened runaway story.