The Joys of Motherhood...

Betcha think by the title of this post that I'm going to go on and on about my wonderful children and how I couldn't imagine life without the little images of perfection.

WRONG.

So, I'm willing to bet some big money that I'm one of a handful of moms who've had their own child cut off all their hair with a razor.

Okay, so I'm being a little dramatic (read: a LITTLE), but I reserve the right to back down on the drama until I fix my hair tomorrow and see how much the chunks actually show. But, I'm getting ahead of myself...

Bailey really likes to take a bath with me and, hey, it's an efficient way to get our business taken care of. We play beauty shop most nights as the role play takes the focus off the fact that she hates to get her hair washed. When she washes mine first, there's not so much crying when I turn the tables on her.

So, earlier this evening we were going through our regular routine. She put a bunch of shampoo in my hair so I had my eyes closed as the soap was running down my face. I kept telling her to hurry up and she said she was going to "scratch it in" with an old toothbrush that she's long been using as a spoon to stir her bathtub concoctions. I squeezed open my eye to see where it was and caught a glimpse of her grabbing it. She started brushing my head with it and it felt really good. So, I just let her keep doing it. Finally I got kind of tired of the semi-burning in my eyes and told her to finish. She didn't want to, but I grabbed a cup and started pouring water over my head. When I reached up to brush my hair with my hands as the soap was washing out of it, I pulled away with a handful of hair. Now, I tend to lose hair pretty easily, but this was a little more than I was used to. I turned around and, as I was thinking, "I wonder why my hair is falling out so much?," I saw that Bailey had little short hairs all over her stomach (she had been standing behind me). Just as I was starting to process this information, I saw the razor in her hand. Then, I saw the terrified look on her face.

After I had finished pulling chunk after chunk of hair from my head, I began the just-as-they-teach-you-in-parenting-school screaming of "What were you THINKING??" She, of course, was very upset, but her big concern was that I didn't tell Jason. This always irritates me....can't she just be scared of ME??

As she was extremely upset and aware that she made a big mistake, we decided that her punishment should be to go to bed immediately after the bath. I've never seen her quite so upset with herself....she knew she shouldn't have been playing with the razor but she didn't ever imagine it would do any permanent damage. Poor girl. I almost feel a bit sorry for her. I'm sure that feeling will go away in the morning when I'm trying to fix my hair.

At least my scalp isn't bleeding. I don't think...