In less than 3 weeks the Cox Clan will have a new member.
This is exciting - of course it is - but having a baby is also quite a scary venture. I think every family is a bit nervous about either the birth itself or simply the unknown reality of the new life to come.
I have been pretty calm throughout this pregnancy, but I've now started worrying about all the things that could go wrong or that won't meet my expectations. The time has come for fear to walk alongside me like an old friend.
And yet I hate fear. Typically, if I hate something, I very easily eliminate it from my life. I hate nuts, so I don't order food with nuts in them. I hate car racing, so I don't watch the Indy 500 on t.v. But with fear, I somehow let it claim a spot next to me like he deserves it and like I have no choice in the matter. It's as if I'm comforted by his presence instead of irritated by it.
I realize this is my daily struggle and, ultimately, a product of my own personal brand of the sinful nature we all possess. I also know that fear personified is Satan. How can I stand to let Satan court me so closely?
I don't have the answer to how I permanently turn away from fear. What I do know is that today is Good Friday and what a better day to publicly lay down my fears at the feet of my Savior. I know - really know - that Jesus' death and resurrection is the only antidote to my fear but I must be an active participant in regularly casting my cares upon Him. The challenge is that we are not promised a life free of heartache and pain, but my family and I ARE promised an eternity with our Creator reaping the unfathomable rewards of Heaven. Today, I'd like to acknowledge that promise by being obedient in prayer.
So here are my prayers for today, Lord, as I prepare to perpetuate the miracle of life you have graciously given us. I know some of these prayers are bigger than others, and some might seem quite silly in the big picture, but you tell us that you hear them all the same and that's very comforting to me.
Lord, I pray that:
1. The baby is born completely healthy and experiences no significant health challenges after birth.
2. I do not have to have a C-section or experience any other labor/delivery complications.
3. I will clearly know when to go to the hospital and with enough time for me to get an epidural.
4. Jason is not in school when I do have to go to the hospital and that Bailey is not in the middle of her CRT testing....or that there is enough time for everyone to get where they need to go without too much stress.
5. I am kind to my family and friends even when I am stressed, scared, or in pain.
6. We are able to effectively balance the needs of our newborn with the needs of Jason's last few weeks of school.
7. Bailey and Nolan do not feel less loved or ignored because of the needs of the baby and that each adjusts well to the changes the baby brings to our lives.
8. We feel good about our choice of a name.
9. I do not have to make difficult choices about work/family balance during my maternity leave due to the big RFP we are expecting to hit the street at any time.
10. My staff feels well-equipped to manage my time away from the office.
11. I do not experience postpartum depression.
12. I have adequate milk supply and no other major challenges to breastfeeding.
13. Jason and I effectively communicate and nurture our couple relationship despite the ever-changing dynamics of life and family.
14. You will cover us with peace about finances, both during my leave and over the next year.
15. We do not let the small challenges of this phase of life detract from the small joys of our growing family.
16. You help us navigate the minutes and hours should any of the above prayers not be answered to our earthly satisfaction.
Amen.
